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Fall to your knees,
And beg for more.
Look past that upon,
You it’s forced.
So grateful you,
Should be for the,
guy who claims you,
because without him,
you’re nothing but a pig.
Thus blessed you are,
To have a man.
Accept that you be,
Society’s wench

Silent you
Never utter opposition.
Hush poor dear,
Be obedient and don’t fear,
he’ll look after you.
For go personal thought.
He’s all you’ve got,
All you’ll ever have.
So be pleased.
He’s such a great catch,
For a pitiful girl,
Such as yourself.
Society’s wench.

Walk the lines,
They lay for you.
Never believing in,
Anything better.
Don’t do but,
Wait for him to.
Fold your hands and,
Place them in your lap.
The perfect picture,
Of helplessness.
The perfect picture of,
Society’s wench,
You be.
©2006-2009 ~Twistednibbles67
:icontwistednibbles67:

Author's Comments

This was written at the end of a long relationship that ended horrible. All I wanted to do was escape it, and all he wanted was for me to stay because he played on my insucirities and low selfesteem. However I didn't feel like he was the only one or that I shouldn't sell myself short just because. I won'tr let him cause any guilt in my life so thus this piece!

Comments


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:iconwynterzend:
I think it's grand! The meter is kinda awkward, but I love the impact of this piece. It's very strong but not overwhelmingly bitter. :clap:

--
I'm not evil. I'm just misunderstood.
That being said, if you like my lyrics, listen to the songs at [link]
:icontwistednibbles67:
Ha I thought it was awkward too!!I just find it so hard to express myself in the right way, and lets face it if I tried to fixed I'd only make it worse>.< And I'm so glad I found the balance between making an impression and being just plain bitter. Thank you so much for you imput I always look forward to it and I enjoy it as well!!!HUGS
:iconwynterzend:
If you'd like I can take a stab at fixing the structure of it. Not changing a word, mind you, just helping you out with breaks that might work for the piece. And if not, then by golly the way it is works just fine too, because if it served its purpose for you, that's all that really matters. =-)

--
I'm not evil. I'm just misunderstood.
That being said, if you like my lyrics, listen to the songs at [link]
:iconhinderedlove:
I like what your trying to say but... I think it be cool if you let her help you... It's not a bad thing...I hope you don't take that in a bad way...I'm just saying cause you said you have trouble fixing your work.

--
People come in and out of your life...But I'm a one you'll never forget!


[link] invisiblechildren
:icontwistednibbles67:
Lol and I am not against letting her help me,I'd trust her with any of my work(such the artist she is!). I just haven't been around lately-_-bad of me I know...Hehe I just don't want to be a burden on anyone.Thanks for the comment

--
~Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me~
:icontwistednibbles67:
I'd really love it if you'd fix it!!Please.. so sorry it took me so long to get back. I know you could improve it 100 times!!^_^

--
~Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me~
:iconhinderedlove:
I understand....I understand if you didn't want her touching your work = because I sometimes HATE when people try changing mine. I write for myself and sometimes they try changing things I really like and I will only get....

--
People come in and out of your life...But I'm a one you'll never forget!


[link] invisiblechildren
:iconwynterzend:
Not improve it, love. Just clean it up a bit. =-) I'll get on it as soon as possible. And thank you for your confidence in me.

--
I'm not evil. I'm just misunderstood.
That being said, if you like my lyrics, listen to the songs at [link]
:iconcrackedactor:
I love this, powerful
x

--
Kiss me out of desire, not consolation.

Details

July 11, 2006
1.1 KB

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